Thursday, December 31, 2015

End of Year Reflection

As we approach the end of 2015 in just mere hours,  I just want to take a moment to reflect on where I've been.  Over this past year, I have struggled with a serious issue with one of my children, which has brought me insurmountable stress.  That stress has spilled over into all aspects of my life, including my job, and my ability to really take care of myself the way I should.  In my last post, I talked about identifying myself as a binge-eater.  Binge-eating is an emotional disorder that is triggered by stress - at least for me it is.  I have let binge eating rule my life this last year, and I have gained 30 pounds.  

This picture was taken last week on Christmas Eve.
I knew I had gained those 30 pounds back, but it really didn't impact me until I saw the pictures for Christmas Eve.  Wow!   

What hurts so bad, is that between 2011 and 2013, I lost 40 pounds!
And now I've gained 30 of those pounds back.

So, they say a picture is worth a thousand words.  Well I have a few choice words to describe that picture, but moving forward, I promised myself to focus on the positive and not the negative.

Moving forward.....
2016 is going to be an 

How is it going to be awesome?
Well, I am focusing on more than just losing weight.  I am focusing on being healthy, both physically and mentally.  I am focusing on ME.  I don't mean being selfish....just less selfless.  My goal this year (and beyond) is to make more decisions based on what is best for ME and not what makes everyone else happy.  Also, in the past when I have tried to lose weight, I really only looked at how many "points" (calories) I was putting in my body, but not really where those calories were coming from.  My therapist really made me stop and think what I am actually putting in my body.  So now, before I eat something, I am asking myself if it is good for me.  Is it something I want to put in my body?   I'm sure some of you are thinking to yourself, "Well, DUH", right? But hey, we are all in different places on this journey called life, and it takes some of longer to figure shit out than others. LOL 
Sometimes it takes a lot more than words, to make someone realize what they need to do.

So here I go!  

How are you going to make 2016 a better year?
I'd love to hear from you in the comments!!!

Monday, December 28, 2015

No Apologies!

Wow!!! Time flies when you feel like your life is completely out of control and stress has gotten the best of you.  I haven't posted here in 6 months.  I'm done making excuses for not posting.  I have enough in my life to worry about and I'm not going to add blogging to that list.  

Where does this new attitude come from, you ask?  I started seeing a therapist for other reasons and she is awesome. Our biggest focus when we meet is working on myself and to stop overextending myself and trying to do everything for everybody.  We talked about my health goals in our last session and I told her about this blog, and our Skinny Girl Facebook group and she basically told me to stay the hell off of there. Here's the reason.  By worrying about posting on a blog or Facebook page, or feeling guilty for not, I am putting too much of my focus on making sure everyone else is happy.  I know it sounds silly, because I am positive your happiness does not in any way, shape or form depend on whether or not I post.  It's a self-induced guilt I place on myself, that is completely unfounded.  But it is there.  So my new attitude is, I'll post when I feel like I want to and if I don't want to or can't, I won't.  And I will NOT feel bad about it.  I know you guys are probably thinking I'm nuts for even saying any of this, because I know you understand that life happens and it is what it is, and all that.  Like I said, this is guilt that I put on myself and really has nothing to do with any of you girls.

Having said all that, I do want to talk about where I'm at in my quest to be healthier.  And I want to talk about it because it is cathartic for me, and if it helps you or encourages you to make changes, then all the better.

We are on the cusp of a new year. 2015 has not been kind to me.  I can't get into all of that because that would a blog post all on its own.  If you know me, then you know basically what has been going on in my life.  I am determined to make 2016 better!

I am currently reading 2 of Bob Harper's books and one of Jillian Michael's books.  They are very interesting and informative when it comes to the physiological aspects of weight loss and healthy eating.  The other book I grabbed from the library is Overcoming Binge Eating for Dummies.
Click here to find it on Amazon

  And there it it folks. 
The book that caused me to have an epiphany yesterday.   

I am a binge eater.  

I'm not saying I am expert or have the ability to diagnose myself.  However, if the shoe fits.....and it most certainly does fit.  I have never really thought about it before, but obviously there was something in the back of my mind that motivated me to even check that book out when I saw it.  

So what does this mean for me?  Well, it does somewhat alter my approach to my quest to be healthier, because it is helping me address the emotional aspect of my overeating, as well as the physical aspect.  In the past, I've never addressed the importance of my emotions and the part that they play in all this.  I'm not looking for a quick fix.  Just a better understanding so that I can make the changes I need to make.

I will check in when I can, and share strategies that are working for me, and update my progress.

Please feel free to comment, or even write a post.  Many of you are author's on this blog, so please feel free to post and let us know how you're doing!