Sometimes it's about perspective...

So countdown til *the* birthday...2 days (my birthday is Sunday...).  I'm sitting right around 145....and those last 5 lbs aren't going anywhere by Sunday.

Am I slightly disappointed that I didn't hit my goal of 140 by my 30th birthday? Yes.

But, here's what I've been thinking about this week as I approached the big day and realized that perhaps I might fall slightly short on my goal.

It's all about perspective.  Did I hit my goal completely?  No.  But here are some things that I've managed to accomplish in the year and a half since I started my journey.

I've lost 48 pounds.

I've run in at least 8 races and finished all of them (even my 4 mile hill course and the 10k).  I've even improved my times each time I go out.

I've registered for my first half marathon which will take place next weekend (eek!)...and feel absolutely certain that I will finish in the allotted time.

I've made serious changes to my diet and feel better every day.  I'm less tired, I'm less stuffy and allergy-ridden, I'm more mindful of what I put in my body.

I've also enjoyed this week and did not restrict myself.  We traveled for a short vacation to visit some of my husband's family.  My birthday is Sunday and we are going to one of my favorite restaurants and I will eat ALL of the things.  It's ok to give yourself permission to not care for a few minutes.  It's ok to enjoy a vacation.  It's ok to celebrate your birthday with abandon.  It's definitely ok.  :)

And all that said I'm SO happy about how far this journey has taken me that I can hardly be upset about that last 5 measly pounds.  I'm going to keep pushing and I WILL hit my goal.  It might just take me an extra week or two.  And you know what?  That's ok - because realistically...my goal was to be healthier by my 30th birthday...and I've most definitely made changes, and am healthier and happier than I was when I turned 29...and that's worth all the changes in the world.

Remember...you shouldn't beat yourself up over what you haven't done...but instead celebrate what you HAVE done, and plan for what you WILL do!  You got this!

I went to yoga and...

...came home and roasted my own flax seeds.

This is not a sentence I EVER in my life thought I'd say or write.

I have to admit that this process...this journey that I've embarked on to become healthier and happier before I turn the big 3-0 has changed my life in so many more ways than I ever thought possible.

First, I've realized more and more recently, as I wear outfits I've always "liked" when I've seen them on others, but would have never had the balls to put on myself before, that I look like a different person today than I did a year ago.  At 5 foot tall, the 45lb that I've lost so far are a LOT.  I mean...45lb is significant for most anyone, but on my frame, it's more than noticeable.  And I'm fairly happy with the curves I've kept, but that are in better proportion to my frame.  Now this is the fairly obvious.  When you lose weight, you look different.  Duh.

Second, I feel better.  I don't hate the thought of doing laundry because it requires several trips up and down two sets of stairs, after which I'd generally be winded and annoyed.  Don't get me wrong, I still hate laundry...that's just not the biggest "why" of it anymore.  I truly just feel better.  I'm not as tired, I don't mind walking places/running errands/being out and about, where previously I would have mostly preferred to stay on the couch.  I'm getting to the point now where I don't particularly like the couch for long periods of time now and I get itchy to move after a little while.  Not something I expected.

But third - and this is the one I *really* wasn't expecting.  I'm turning into a hippie.  And I say that not to poke fun at anyone or make light of the term...but really...I'm turning into a hippie.

It started with eating better - thinking about what I was putting into my body.  Not just counting calories - because, to me, things like diet soda are scarier than some of my favorite "bad" foods because of the chemicals and other unnatural things in them.  So as I started thinking about what I was doing, I started reading more and more about nutrients and natural foods.  I don't follow a "diet" so to speak - I'm not "doing paleo" or trying Atkins or any of those fad type things - I just really try to pay attention to what's in my food...which has led to much more home cooking and much less picking something up on the way home.  And if I am going to grab something simple, I try to turn toward "real" foods - like prepared foods in our local grocery store (I love Wegmans!) where they cook and prepare the dinners in store with ingredients right from the store shelves.  I pay attention to snacking - if I want a snack I try to choose something with protein and real foods...like a trail mix...rather than something like chips.

I started doing smoothies for breakfast (I've had one for breakfast at least 5 days a week for seriously the last 10 months or so...).  Then I started really paying even closer attention to things I could add to get better nutrients out of the smoothies, greek yogurt, chia seeds, and now flax seeds.  I'm seriously roasting some flax seeds that I'll mill down to powder as I write this.  When did this become my life?
I started composting.  As I started eating more real food and cooking at home even more (I've always enjoyed cooking...but I'm *really* getting to fall even more in love with it now) I started having real food waste...peels of things, trimmings of veggies, apple cores from my smoothies...whatever it might be...and I felt terrible about throwing it all away.  Now, it gets composted under my sink (in this thing...which I LOVE http://www.containerstore.com/shop/trashRecycling/viewAll?productId=10036592) and tossed in the back yard.  The squirrels and birds and other creatures often eat the compost or it decomposes into the dirt.  Either way - less in the landfill and it's good for the little ecosystem of my backyard.

Then, I started doing some "spring" cleaning and getting rid of old medications that were expired.  And I started thinking that if I had them around long enough for them to expired, maybe I didn't need to replace them because I obviously didn't use them that often.  Then a friend introduced me to essential oils.  I seriously haven't ingested an OTC medication since December.  I've used peppermint oil for my occasional headaches and some oil blends for minor aches.  I've used lavender oil to heal small cuts on my hands...hangnails, papercuts, nicks from cooking, etc.  I am ALWAYS congested in the winter.  I cannot remember a winter where I didn't want to have sinus replacement surgery so I could breathe.  The combination of being healthier in general, and my Breathe Again oil blend for those occasional stuffy days, I have not taken any decongestant this entire winter season...and it's been COLD and windy and snowy and all the things that normally screw me up.  I can breathe - during the day, when I sleep, everything!  It's amazing.  The company that I get oils through also sells a fruit blend drink that I've ordered to add to my smoothies in the morning.  Super powerful vitamins and minerals all from natural sources.

And today...I went to yoga.  I love my running.  I really do, but I wanted to add another component to things.  I love stretching - I used to do gymnastics as a kid and stretching was always my favorite part of class.  I also like the relaxation aspect - one of the only workouts I know where the end of your class is literally just laying down with your eyes closed.  There's something to be said for that.  I've taken yoga before...signed up for some classes when I was at college and such...but with my recent health kick this felt so much different.  It felt like almost a culmination of the changes I've been making.  I will still run...that's my favorite way to burn calories and have thinking time, but yoga is going to become part of this lifestyle too - I can see it.  I greatly enjoyed it and it's going to be a way to bring some strength and flexibility into things without, say, lifting weights.

And now I'm looking into crop shares for the spring as a way to get my hands on fresh, local ingredients for my cooking and also expanding my repertoire (cause they just give you what is ripe that week, so you end up with veggies you might not know to pick up at the store...).



Now my point with all of this is definitely NOT that this is how things will go or have to go to see success with changes in your life.  It was more for me to explain how it is a process.  Changing habits and mindsets takes time.  If I had said to myself last October - I'm going to start running, doing yoga, eating better, using oils instead of OTC meds, and composting I would have laughed at myself.  For several reasons.  First, taking on that many changes sets yourself up for failure.  Second, I would have though "what are you doing? Becoming a hippie?"  Third, I don't even know that I could have said that to myself all in one breath because I wouldn't know that all those things were available.  I knew next to nothing about essential oils.  I used to laugh at my grandmother for composting.  But the process took me here.  One change gradually led to another and I'm really very happy with where I am now.  I have about 5lb to go until my goal...and about 6 weeks til my birthday.  I'm an almost-30-year-old hippie...and I love it.

My message to you is to let it happen.  Learn, read, make the changes that make sense to you.  My happiness has increased in the past year and I think that's the biggest thing for me.  I'm happy.  Be happy.

What are you giving up for Lent?

I will say this...I am Catholic.  I even went to a Jesuit college where attending mass was often a part of on campus activities.

I will also say this...I'm a relatively terrible Catholic.  I don't attend mass regularly.  I don't frequently participate in things like Midnight Mass at Christmas time or getting ashes on my forehead on Ash Wednesday.

But today is Ash Wednesday...the beginning of Lent.  For those of us who are Catholic, it's supposed to be a time of sacrifice and reflection, meant to prepare believers for the resurrection celebration of Easter.

As a time of sacrifice, Lent is often secondary only to New Year's for the time of year to make changes in ones life.  Often, you give up something you truly enjoy as a sacrifice with all intentions of limiting yourself for the 40 days of Lent and then resuming normal course of action when Easter comes around.

I have a proposal.  If you are like me, you often need an external motivator to really push yourself.  You need something compelling you to keep working hard...and sometimes that motivation is tough to find.  Use Lent as your motivator.  They say it takes 21 days to change a habit.  Lent is 40.

If you follow the practice of Lent, try giving up one thing for Lent that will make you healthier in the long run.  Stop drinking soda, give up your Tuesday night fast food habit, quit smoking, whatever it may be.  Don't try to take on everything - don't tell yourself that you're not going to eat *anything* bad for you.  But if you give yourself a goal...and if it's part of your faith and belief, it's something you might be more likely to commit to...and stick to it.

By this point in the year - mid-February - we've most likely given up on New Year's Resolutions.  Don't get down on yourself if you have...almost everyone does.  It's why I've given up on New Year's Resolutions all together - they just don't work for me.  But if you need a little motivation to maybe work a little harder as spring (hopefully....it's freaking cold outside right now...) approaches, perhaps the start of Lent can be your jumpstart, your re-invigoration.  I mean really...what do you have to lose?

Since I asked the question I suppose I should answer it.  This year, for Lent, I'm giving up excuses.  I frequently make my own mental excuses for not running, not choosing the healthier food option, not making "good" choices.  I've been, in my own estimation, very successful on this journey, but I have NOT, in any way, shape, or form, been perfect.  For the next 40 days, I'm not going to make any excuses in response to my journey (other aspects of life can wait til later...but excuses for not working out and making my healthy choices will be the focus :-P).  I am going to set a plan for the next 40 days...and stick to it.  I'm not going to be "too busy" or rest on the fact that I was "good" yesterday.  I'm going to stop excusing myself because I've made so much progress already and work hard to make the rest of the progress I want to make.  Lent ends 10 days before my goal.  10 days before my 30th birthday.  10 days before I want to be at my goal weight, which is 6lbs from where I am now.  The last little bit is the hardest...and I think, maybe, for the first time in my life, I'm going to set something to give up for Lent, stick to it, and make a change for the better.

The final push....

So here we are...2015.  It's the year I turn 30...and the time of reaching my goal has arrived.  I have approximately 10 weeks until my 30th birthday...at that point I hope to weigh in at 140lb (or maybe a little less).

According to my app, I'm 88.63% of the way to my goal weight-loss wise, and 86.29% of the way.  It's getting close.

I have found this last little bit to be the hardest part of the journey.  I'm feeling better, I like how I look in my clothes a lot more, I'm working a lot, and it's winter.  Those are all excuses I've made - either consciously or unconsciously - to "slack off" or slow down on my workouts or whatever it may be.

I need a little bit of motivation for this last push...10 weeks is plenty of time to lose about 6lbs...I just need to get my butt back in gear.  I got back on the treadmill yesterday and it felt awesome - even though I hadn't run in 12 days.  It's almost as if every now and again I need a little "vacation" so to speak...then getting back into the routine is that much easier.

I guess what I'm saying is this...sometimes the final push is the hardest...the last little bit of that journey is the biggest uphill battle.  There will be setbacks.  There will be struggles.  But the best advice I can give is to just keep working...have more good days than bad...and in the end you'll be successful.

This group of women, who are all working hard in their own regard, have given me so much inspiration, support, and have - perhaps without even knowing it - held me accountable.  I could not have done this without you all.  Now...it's time for the final push.

10 weeks.  6 pounds.

I got this.

New Year....New Strategies

For the last two days, I have been looking for ways to switch up my weight loss strategies.  I spent a lot of time on Pinterest, and grabbed a few ideas that I think will work for me.

So I got in the car and drove to Michael's to get what I needed.

First up is the motivational weight loss jars.

I've actually wanted to do this for awhile.  I'm very visual, so seeing the stones move from one jar to the other will be very motivating for me.  What will also be extremely motivating is NOT wanting to have to put any of the stones back in the pounds to lose jar!  That would really suck!

Next up is the "smash journal".

I saw quite a few of these on Pinterest.

  What really appealed to me is the mixture of journal and scrapbook.   I'm planning to just stuff it full of ideas, clippings, pictures and anything that motivates me.  If you need ideas, just search for

 "Weight Loss Smash Journal" on Pinterest and you will see tons of cute ideas.

Here are my first few pages. 

And last, but not least is a private journal.  

My Smash journal will just lay around the house, but there are some thoughts and feelings about my weight loss that I would like to keep to myself.

So I purchased a Journal app for my iPhone.  It was only $1.99 and let's you add pictures.  Most importantly to me, I can sync it between my iPhone and my Google Drive.

So there you have it.

I'm really excited about all of these new little strategies!

What new strategies are you going to try to spice up your weight loss program?

Returning to old habits...

...as long as they're good ones

It's not shameful to return to some old habits.  I swear, it really isn't.

When I started this journey...in earnest this time...just over a year ago, I was pretty gung ho.  I was doing a Couch to 5k trainer (with Zombies! yay!), myfitnesspal to track my calories, an app called monitor your weight to keep track of my overall goal of weight loss vs. time spent, etc.  I was vigilant on tracking myself and holding myself accountable.  I set up calendars for workouts so that I was making sure to hit the gym 3 times a week, and making sure I did my weigh in every week, same day of the week, same time of day (and posting in our Facebook group as an extra layer of accountability).  It was awesome.

And then I got used to the routine.  I was able to maintain a lot of what I was doing without such stringent accountability.  I was able to watch my calories and have a better understanding of how many were in the things I was eating.  I was able to get to the gym or outside running 3 times a week without even thinking about it because it was just my routine.

Over the course of this year long (so far) journey, I completed a 28-mile bike ride as well as a 10k and 5- 5ks.  I met my goal of completing a 5k in competition in under 40 minutes.  I've lost a total of 40lbs so far (of my goal of 50).  I feel better, I look better (if the compliments I've gotten recently are any indication), and I'm actually enjoying things like running.  Even shoveling my driveway for the first time yesterday (I hate winter in upstate NY) wasn't as hard as it was last year at this time.

It's now holiday time...one of the biggest food related holidays of the year now behind us (God, I love Thanksgiving food) and I'm feeling myself slipping back into some old habits again.  I've run 3 times in the last 27 days.  I ate (and drank) EVERYTHING on Thanksgiving...and the day before...and the day after.  It's getting dark so early in the evening now I almost hate going outside to run (surprisingly it's not the cold keeping me inside).  I have ZERO desire to go to the actual gym.  I'm getting complacent.

SO.  Instead of allowing myself to fully slip back into *those* old habits.  I'm deciding to return to some other old habits instead:

• I logged into myfitnesspal for the first time in months tonight.  I'm logging everything I've eaten today.  I'm going to log my food again for at least the next month, daily, to keep myself accountable.  (Side note - only a couple hundred calories over my 1300 calorie goal...so much better than it could have been for today, but still something I need to work on).
• I am currently printing a new 30 day challenge for myself as a workout challenge.  I'm going to plan out my next month of workouts (and I think it's important to take into account plans that I have, etc. to make it realistic) and stick to it!
• I joined a challenge on dailymile (my running tracking website) to see if I can log a certain number of miles over the next 30 days (and if you do, you're entered to win $$ yay!).
• I weighed myself on my normal day (Friday...bad idea...the day after Thanksgiving) to get myself an idea of where I am.  Thankfully, I was up only 2 pounds from my lowest weight to date so even the beer fest I went to, and Thanksgiving, and all that other stuff that I've been doing hasn't set me back TOO much.  I'm committing to the weigh in every Friday morning again (as I used to) so that I have a gauge on where I am in the process.  I had a few times where I was afraid to hop on the scale, but if I can't be honest with myself, what good is all this work I'm doing? 

I guess my point is that old habits are ok - and it's sometimes ok to need to get yourself back on track by returning to the "crutches" that you needed in the beginning.  To remind yourself of the good work and the good choices and just straighten out your relaxed expectations for yourself a little.  A setback is ok.  A little movement in the "wrong" direction is ok.  But there are tools out there that helped me once and it's ok to need them a little bit again.  It doesn't mean I'm a failure, I'm just kicking myself in the butt to get myself in gear again.  I have til April to reach my goal (which is TOTALLY doable) but I need to stay on track a bit and I'm going to return to some old....good....habits to get there. 

What good habits to you need to get back to??

Me, Myself and Blogger Fail

Ummmm........

5. Don't post

4. Don't post

3. Don't post

2. Don't post

and

1. Don't post

Yes, I'm a total blogger fail.

If you know me, you know I love blogging.  Well, I like to create blogs....keeping up with blogs - not so much.  I kid, I kid.  Seriously though.  I currently have 5 blogs!!!! Blogging is so much fun, when you have time to do it.   I started my first blog, Twilight Junkies Anonymous 5 years ago. Whoah! Time flies  Somehow, back then I had more time to create posts.  Time is a precious commodity these days.  Might have something to do with the fact that I have more demands put on me from my job than ever before. Well, since I have the day off today, I thought I'd resurrect this poor blog once again.  I started with giving the blog a new and improved look. :)

 If you can't laugh at yourself, right?

Where are you on this journey?  Well, is it really a journey?  A journey suggests a beginning and an end.  I don't think this ever ends.  It's more of an odyssey.....a quest.  I know some of us in this group can attest, that once you get to your goal, the next part of the odyssey begins.  Maintaining.  And that is lifelong.  I hope to get to that part of this quest someday. :)

It took me two years to lose 40 pounds.  I've been basically maintaining that loss for the past 18 months or so.  That's where I am stuck right now.  I feel like I'm in a rut.  How do I get motivated to continue?

The problem is, I look at myself some days and feel really good about how far I've come.  I was a size 18-20 and now I'm a 12-14.  That's big for me.  I think I look pretty decent.  Definitely an improvement from before.  And I get comfortable with that, and convince myself that this is fine and I don't really need to lose anymore weight.

Other days, I look at myself and think....UGH!  My thighs are awful, my butt is huge, my arms are flabby.  I really want to go and buy any clothes I want and feel good about how I look.  That's when I feel like I need to get back on track and get this train moving again. If I could lose 40 pounds, what's stopping me from losing 40 more?

The problem is, I alternate these two feelings from week to week.  I'm not motivated for a length of time long enough to make a change.  

I have no answers.  This is just where I'm at right now.  

The group on Facebook has been a fabulous inspiration and motivation.   Having all of you girls to support each other has been amazing.  This blog is for all you girls in the Facebook group too.  I hope that some of you will feel like creating a post someday for this blog. Sometimes you need a little more than just a Facebook post to say what you want to say.

So, the bottom line is.....I love this blog.  My heart desires to keep up with this blog, but I make no promises.  My life is busy.  I will try to post the weekly weigh ins.  If you notice, I added a survey in the sidebar where you can get in a quick and share your progress.

So stop by the blog when you can.  

Comment on a post.  

There's no point in my writing these posts if nobody reads them.

Write a post!  

I can help you with this if you need help.  The more the merrier!!!!