The Truth is......

.....Painful

....Surprising

....Motivating?

I recently had an epiphany.  
And that is that I have been deluding myself.....
 for much longer than I realized.

Lately, when someone would say to me "You look great.  You're doing a great job" I would respond with, "Well, I haven't been so good the last week or so."  
And in my mind, it really was only the last week or so.  

I truly believed what I was saying.

The truth is.....I've been saying that for a lot longer than I thought.  


 Like since March.

I use several apps on my iPhone to track my food, weight loss, etc.  I use an app called iSkinny for tracking my weight loss week to week.  I've been using this app for over a year now.  That's a year's worth of weight loss data - that I really never looked at closely until recently.  As a teacher, I get that data speaks volumes about a student's progress.  Well, I finally really looked at the data - and it speaks volumes about me and my progress these last few months.

Here I thought I was doing so well, but the truth is.......

I've been slowly, steadily climbing back up.  
See all the red arrows?  
Those are bad.  And there are way too many of them!

So, the weaker part of me wants to just quit.  
Give up.  
Throw in the towel.  
It was so much easier before March, 
but for some reason it got harder.  
And summer is making it monumentally more difficult.  
I'm home all day, with easy access to snacks.

However, I am going to fight off the weakness, and salvage my progress.  Honestly, I'm still down more than 20 pounds, which is awesome.  I need to nip this in the bud.  I am home all day, with easy access to healthy food, and a treadmill.  It's summer and it's a perfect time to go for a walk.  I'm not going to let this setback let me continue with the tailspin I am in.

So, today is the day I stop lying to myself.

I know what I have to do.....I've done it for almost a year.

I just needed to get that out there.  

To motivate myself, if nothing else.

June Update

I haven't made too much more progress since my last post. :(

I haven't given up though!

Now that school is out, I'm getting back on track with renewed vigor.

That's tough for me because I can go either way during the summer.  I struggle so much being home all day and having easy access to snacks.  In the summer, I also find myself wanting to just sit around in the backyard enjoying some cocktails......which usually leads to overeating for me.

I'm trying to stay strong though.

I went through some old clothes and pulled out a bunch of stuff that hasn't seen the light of day in a few years.  Actually got dressed up for my sister's graduation and actually fit into some clothes that haven't fit me for sometime......

It was a good feeling!

I am continuing to participate in the Alli Communispace and getting on the treadmill a few times per week.

My goal this summer it work on tightening up a bit.....just not so sure how to go about it.

More on that later........